Ed of Africa
by MLGhungrydew
Summary: The Eds are at it again. This time, they've planned to mail themselves to the jawbreaker factory, but when a mishap causes them to awaken outside a lodge in Africa, the Eds must work their way home in the Jambo! Safari Reserve. They are mentored under park ranger George Wildman, and Eddy hatches a plan for a money-making scam... Crossover with the 1999 SEGA game "Jambo! Safari."
1. The Edventurous Voyage

**This is my first crossover fic, but you probably want some background on what game the Eds will cross over with. "** **Jambo! Safari" was a 1999 arcade game from SEGA. It involves driving a jeep around the plains of Africa and catching animals with a lasso and net. You might want to do some background research if you wish. But I see you wondering "How the donkey tongues did the Eds, who can't buy a JAWBREAKER, get to Africa?" Well, you're about to find out in...Ed of Africa!**

It was yet another day of scams and hijinks in the cul-de-sac. Ed, Double D, and Eddy were working on their latest scam in the driveway, working on a large cardboard box that could fit all three of them inside. "Keep stocking the box! We'll mail ourselves to the jawbreaker factory in no time!" Eddy bossed Ed and Double D around. The other two Eds were loading the box with sleeping bags, water bottles, and snacks. "Are you sure this is going to work? The mailman might think this is suspiciously heavy!" Double D exclaimed. "Relax, sockhead! If you two stick to MY plan, we'll be taking five jawbreakers at a time!" Eddy exclaimed. "Mmm..jawbreakers.." Ed drooled as he tossed a lantern into the big box. "Alright Double D, come with me! We're going to load the TV into the box!" Eddy ordered. "Eddy, I don't think that you can watch TV without a plug." Double D remarked. "Shut up, sockhead! You can label the box address, Lumpy. Remember, it's 1747 Jimbo Way!" Eddy told Ed. "Yes, 1747 Jimbo Way!" Double D repeated. Ed crudely wrote the address on the box. "I have a bad feeling about this..." Double D told Eddy.

The two Eds were lugging the television into the box they would hide in to get mailed to the jawbreaker factory. "Tee Vee!" Ed exclaimed, drooling. "Say it, don't spray it, Lumpy." Eddy retorted. The three climbed into their box suite and waited for the mail truck. "Any second now." Eddy stated.

 **5 minutes later...**

The Eds were still waiting on the mail truck. "There's still no mail truck." Double D said. "Any minute now." Eddy spoke again.

 **10 minutes later...**

"Are you sure about this?" Double D asked. "Any half-hour now." Eddy growled.

 **30 minutes later...**

"Eddy, this was a terrible idea!" Double D yelled. "Any HOUR now!" Eddy yelled. "A mail truck!" Ed exclaimed, poking his head out of the box. A package truck loomed in on the road. "Get back in the box, Ed!" Eddy ordered. The Eds taped the door shut, and felt the box they were hiding in being loaded onto the truck. When the truck door closed, Eddy opened the box doors. "Goodbye, stupid Kevin! Goodbye, whiny Sarah! Goodbye, evil Kankers!" Eddy rejoiced. "Is there a bathroom?" Ed asked. "Never mind." Ed stated. Double D and Eddy whiffed the air. "Ed, that's revolting!" Double D cried. "Crack a window!" Eddy cried. "I'm hungry now." Ed stated. "That's nice to know, Ed." Double D replied with a hint of annoyance. Ed grabbed all the food in the bag and scarfed it down. "ED! You ape! You ate all our food!" Double D screamed. "I'm going to sleep. I expect jawbreakers GALORE when I wake up!" Eddy stated. "I'll sleep as well. It'll make me forget that Ed ate all our food." Double D said. "Sleepy sleepy!" Ed exclaimed.

 **14 hours later...**

The Eds woke up from their bags, and were still on the truck. "That was a goooooood nap." Eddy told them, when the truck stopped. "Get in the box! We're about to get unloaded!" Eddy told his cohorts, who went back in their box apartment. The box was loaded onto the side of the road, and the truck sped off. "Let's run out and get those jawbreakers!" Eddy screeched. Ed drooled with hunger. The three ran out, but stopped in shock to realize they were not at the jawbreaker factory, but outside a lodge on the plains of Africa. "Where are we?" Eddy cried.

 **That's it for Chapter 1. In the next chapter, the Eds realize why they ended up in Africa, and they meet some new people...**


	2. Base Camp Training

**Now let's pick up where we left off. The Eds have awoken in Africa, far from Peach Creek. How will they get home? Will they meet new people? Let's find out.**

The Eds hid in their box on the side of the African road. "Where are we?" Ed asked. "I believe that we are in Africa. The acacia trees and elephant grass grow very well in the savannah regions." Double D informed him. "Big words make my brain go owie." Ed stated. "How did we get here?" Eddy asked when he read the address of the box. "1747 Jambo Way?" Eddy thought out loud. Eddy saw a sign saying " _1747 Jambo Way_." "I believe that we should cordially greet the owner of this lodge and question said owner for assistance." Double D advised the other Eds. "Big Words!" Ed screamed as he ran in crazy circles. Edd and Eddy hung onto him for dear life. Ed rammed into the door, breaking it, and the Eds clambered inside. Ed started sniffing rapidly. "What's his problem?" Eddy asked. "Food!" Ed cried. He began sniffing on the trail of the lodge's fridge. "Food? I'm _famished!_ " Double D cried. The three Eds munched on cheese, ham, fruit pies, raisins, garlic, chicken wings, and sauerkraut ravenously. "What is going on here?" A voice yelled grimly. The Eds looked behind them to see an an angry 59-year-old man with a blue dress shirt, a red tie, and a safari hat. "An adult!" Eddy cried. "The author sure is weird." Ed remarked, breaking the fourth wall. "Why are you in my fridge? Why is the door broken?" The man asked, crankily. Eddy and Double D said nothing, but Ed was still gorging on food. The man cleared his throat angrily. "I am Edward Arniele, curator of the Jambo! Safari Reserve." Edward lectured them. "Who are you?" He asked. "I'm Eddy, what's it to ya?" Eddy retorted. "My name is Eddward too, but with two D's." Double D. "Im hungry!" Ed exclaimed. "That's Ed over there. He's not too bright." Double D remarked. "Wait, so you three are all named Ed too?" Edward asked. "Yep!" Ed exclaimed. Edward facepalmed.

"So, how do we get out of here, crusty?" Eddy asked, rudely. "Hmm...I have a plan, but it involves WORK." Arniele told them. "WORK? Wait, for money?" Eddy asked. "For a way home." Edward replied. Curator Arniele walked the Eds to the porch of the lodge, where two other men and a woman were sitting. "Eds, meet Naftali Ngugi, our geologist, Marit Söderström, our assistant professor, and George Wildman, our head ranger. Eddy and Ed fell asleep of boredom. "This is fascinating! Finally, intelligent minds that study our Mother Earth!" Double D exclaimed joyously. "They're all dweebs." Eddy retorted. "Dweebs?" George asked. "We do all sorts of jobs people down in the other countries dream of doing!" George yelled. "Square dancing!" Ed blurted out. "I'll be taking you boys out to the Base Training Camp, where I will train you for mission tasks." George explained to them. "Oh boy! I can't wait to see the wildlife!" Double D cheered. "Work? Lame." Eddy growled.

The Eds were led to a garage by Wildman, who took them to a blue roofless Jeep. "Oh cool, we get to drive? I call-" Eddy exclaimed when Ed cut him off. "DIBS!" Ed shouted as he ran into the driver's seat. "Well, what do we do?" Eddy asked. "Yellow shirt kid, man the lasso. Kid with a sock on his head, you control the net." George ordered. "We have names, you know!" Double D replied. "I'm Eddward, but my friends call me "Double D." Double D told George. "The others are Ed and Eddy." He went on. "Wait, there's more than one Edward now?" George asked in confusion. The Eds were in the front of the car, while George was watching in the back. "Scrap it! Ed, turn _the key_ to turn on _the jeep_." George sounded it out for Ed. "Whee!" Ed hollered as he floored on the pedal, and the safari car sped out of control through the plains. "CADET! Stop it!" George yelled. Ed panicked and slammed the brakes, causing George to fly out of the jeep and onto the ground. Ed and Eddy laughed at him. George walked into the car with a sneer on his face. "So, what do you want us to do, anyway?" Eddy asked. "I want you three to work together to catch three different species of animal at this base camp. We have gazelles, zebras, hartebeests, ostriches and hyenas across this training ground." George told them. "What's a hartebeest? Is that some sort of movie monster?" Eddy asked. "It's a type of antelope. I expected such an answer from you fools!" George yelled as he handed Ed a pair of binoculars.

Ed panned across the savannah with his binoculars, looking for animals. "Are there any chickens?" Ed asked. "No." Wildman replied. "Are there any piggies?" Ed asked. "If you mean warthogs, yes, but-" George said when Ed interrupted him. "Are there any sheepies?" Ed asked. "NO!" George yelled when Ed caught sight of an ostrich, scraping for bugs in the savannah dirt. "CHICKEN!" Ed screamed as he slammed his foot on the gas pedal and started wildly turning, causing the car to tip over a bit. "Good grief, Ed! Slow down!" Double D cried. Eddy managed to pull the lasso out from the car, and he started flimsily shaking it. "That's terrible lasso work, Eddy." George stated. "Well maybe it would be better if this wasn't so lame!" Eddy argued. "Ostrich!" Double D cried. The Eds were about to run over the ostrich by accident, when George grabbed the wheel and turned away in time. The ostrich jumped in surprise. "Throw the net!" Eddy ordered. Double D weakly threw the net, and the Eds got tangled in it. George hit the brakes, and the Eds in the net were launched out, and into an acacia tree, where they rested. "That was fun! Can we do it again, Eddy? Please, oh please oh please?" Ed asked. "This. Is. HORRIBLE!" Eddy screamed. "That was a big chicken, Eddy!" Ed blurted out. "You three might not be _all that_ terrible at this." George told them. "You're all the right people in all the wrong places!" George called to the netted Eds from the tree. George pulled out a 10-inch hunting knife and walked towards the tree. "He's got a knife, Eddy! AAAH!" Ed shouted. George cut the net and the Eds fell out of the tree. Double D landed in a soft patch of grass, but Ed and Eddy fell on him! "Okay, Ed's strength is too reckless to drive, but perhaps he'd be great with the lasso." George instructed. "Whee, cowboy!" Ed barked as he ran to the car and pulled out the lasso. "Eddy, you're quite bad with the rope, but with determination, I think you can pull off the net." George told Eddy. "Sounds boring." Eddy complained. "Double D, you seem to be very interested in all this, and while you can't throw the net for a million dollars, you'd probably be a very safe driver." George told Double D. "Oh boy!" Double D exclaimed as he ran to the steering wheel. "Okay, all this complimenting is making me sick to my stomach. Let's do something." George groaned as he got in the back of the car.

Double D scanned the fields with his binoculars, when he came across a grazing herd of Grant's Gazelles. "Gazelles!" Double D exclaimed. Double D turned on the gas, and the car started moving towards the herd at a steady pace. Ed started twirling the lasso and saying "Rope!" every time it twirled. "Knock it off, Ed!" Eddy argued. "Gazelles up ahead!" George announced. Double D drove the Jeep through the herd of gazelles, and started to single out a gazelle. "Now, Ed!" Eddy ordered. "I got you, Eddy!" Ed blurted as he threw the lasso, which latched onto the gazelle. "Pull the rope!" George ordered. Ed started pulling the rope, causing the gazelle to get tired. "Ready, Eddy? Ed asked. "Alright." Eddy complained as he tossed the net, but it missed! Ed booed at him, and George handed Eddy another net, which he threw at the gazelle, catching it. The Eds caught their first species, a Grant's gazelle. Double D held the lasso, and the gazelle began to jump around, pulling the lightweight Edd with him. "One down, two to go." George said.

Double D caught sights of a large hartebeest in the distance, rubbing its horns on a tree. "Let's get this over with." Eddy complained. The Eds drove towards the tree, scaring the antelope into the open fields of the base camp. The Eds and George began on the chase, in hot pursuit of the hartebeest. Double D tried to drive close enough to the antelope for Ed to lasso it. "It's perseverance is sublime!" Double D exclaimed. "English, sockhead!" Eddy jeered. "Big deer no sleepy." Double D retorted. "Be my friend, Africa deer!" Ed blurted as he tossed the lasso. The antelope was still running, and the car was driving to net the hartebeest. Eddy was about to throw the net, but he dropped it, and it hit George Widman in the face! "Eddy, you greedy fool!" George yelled. "Put a sock in it, crusty!" Eddy retorted. He threw another net, and it caught the hartebeest. The hartebeest laid on the ground, so George and the Eds rushed to it. Eddy cut the net and posed with the resting antelope, holding the lasso on its neck. "Bow to Eddy the big game hunter!" Eddy exclaimed. The hartebeest got up and started ramming Eddy with its horns. "YOWZEE!" Eddy screamed as the antelope threw him over its back. "That's one mean goat, Double Dee!" Ed blurted.

"You have one more type of animal to catch until the mission is over." George told them. Ed grabbed the binoculars from Double D. "Hey!" Double D yelled. "Horsies!" Ed exclaimed. "Gimme that!" Eddy yelled. "He's right. Striped ponies or something." Eddy told Double D. "I think what you are trying to describe is a zebra." George told Eddy and Ed. The Eds quickly sped to the location of the zebra herd, chasing the herd across the base camp. Ed quickly tossed the lasso and lassoed the zebra. Eddy threw the net and caught it. "You three learn fast!" George said in awe. "Why thank you." Eddy absorbed the praise. "Of course, this training camp has the _easiest_ animals around. I've had kindergarteners catch animals better than you." George dropped a hard iron of truth on Eddy. "Why do we catch animals with a lasso and net anyway?" Double D asked. "For a number of reasons. 1. To check up individuals for sickness and injury. 2. To see if there are any new animal species in the park. 3. To tag them with tracking devices in case poachers hunt them or sell them for money." George explained. Eddy's ear perked up when he heard "Money." "How much money?" Eddy asked. "Usually in the thousands, but some animals rack up to tens of thousands." George told Eddy. Eddy's eyes turned into dollar signs. "Hear that boys, I'm starting to like this business!" Eddy told them. "We'll take the animals up to an enclosure where they will be cared for and released. Inthe meantime, you boys need some sleep. You'll be able to roam around the REAL park if you complete a special mission..." George told them.

 **Okay, so that wraps Chapter 2 up. Perhaps you know what the Eds' test will be, judging by the trials faced in the game. Edward, George, and the others are NOT OCs, but rather the names of the playable rangers in the arcade game. Sarah, Nazz, Jimmy, Rolf, Kevin, Johnny, and the Kanker Sisters will not join the Eds in Africa, but they will be in a few scenes, including Eddy's dream sequences.**


	3. The Cheetah Chase

**Welcome back, buddies! Buckle up, because things are gonna take a turn for the speedy for the final training challenge the Eds must face...**

The Eds were sleeping on the couches of the lodge, as a new morning rose. Ed snored with vigor, but Double D and Eddy slept through it. They wouldn't sleep through what is to come. Edward Arniele walked down to the living room with a megaphone. "WAKE UP, YOU DOLTS!" He shouted. The Eds woke up in a startled leap and started scrambling around the room. "Aaah! The boogie man!" Ed exclaimed as he crashed into a bookshelf, knocking over many books. "Oh dear, Ed! Pick up those books!" Double D told Ed. Ed threw a book out the window with his mouth. "It's 6 in the morning!" Eddy yelled. "Well, we wake up at 3:00! Consider yourself lucky!" Edward replied. "Breakfast is oatmeal and bacon. Meet Mr. Wildman by the garage at 6:30, and he will give you your final training test." Edward told the Eds. Eddy stuck his tongue out at Edward. "Why, how rude! In my day, we got spanked for such rudeness!" Edward scoffed as he walked off. "What an old fart." Eddy growled. "He had beans!" Ed blurted out.

The Eds ate their breakfast and went out to the garage, where George Wildman was waiting. "I see you Ed boys have arrived." George spoke. "You know, that does remind us of someone back home." Double D noted. "Get in the car. I will drive you out to the Final Training destination, where you must complete the task at hand." George announced. "Yeah, yeah. The sooner we get it done, the better." Eddy jeered. "Rope!" Ed shouted as he ran to his lasso. The Eds got in the car, and George drove them off on their way...

The Jeep arrived in an area with dry, rocky ground, and barren trees. "Where are we? It looks like the construction lot that no houses get built on." Eddy remarked. Ed picked up some rocky ground and ate it. "Ed, that's revolting." Double D told Ed. "For your task, you are only to catch one species of animal." George announced. "Phew, this is gonna be E-Z!" Eddy exclaimed. "However, that is what YOU think. Your task is to catch an agile cheetah, the fastest animal on land!" George exclaimed. The area had many cheetahs, running around, sunbathing on rocks, and eating gazelle carcasses. "Kitties!" Ed exclaimed. "Well...what are we waiting for? Get in position!" Eddy ordered. George went in the back with his clipboard and pen, Double D took the driver's wheel, Eddy grabbed a net, and Ed screamed "Rope!" as he grabbed his lasso. "A cheetah!" Double D whispered as he started driving slowly towards the cat. "Why are we going so slow, sockhead?" Eddy asked with impatience. "We have to sneak up on it slowly, or else we'll never win!" Double D told Eddy. They kept driving, until they were mere yards away from the cheetah. Then, Ed screamed "KITTY!" The cheetah fled out of the place it was lying down in, and left the Eds in the dust. "Ed, you fool! Now we'll never catch a cheetah!" Double D yelled in anguish. "Maybe instead...JUST DRIVE, SOCKHEAD!" Eddy yelled. Double D floored on the gas, and started chasing down a cheetah. Double D was hyperventilating, and his heart was pumping due to the speed. Ed started twirling his lasso. "Rope! Rope! Rope!" Ed went on. Ed tossed the lasso, and it missed. Ed started twirling it again. "Here, kitty, kitty!" Ed exclaimed. Ed tossed the rope again, and he missed. The cheetah took a sharp turn to the right. "What are you waiting for, turn!" George nagged. Double D cringed as he veered to the right, kicking up dust, causing the Eds to cough. Double D caught up to the cheetah, and Ed threw his lasso. This time, it was a spot-on hit! Ed started pulling the rope, causing the cheetah to get tired. Eddy tossed his net, sealing the deal. "You did it, I guess." George said as he wrote something down on his clipboard. The Eds walked up to the netted cat, and cut the net off. The cheetah looked at Eddy, bared it's teeth, and growled. "I think it's hungry, Double Dee!" Ed exclaimed. "Oh dear! This seems awfully dangerous, but.." Double D mumbled as he grabbed a piece of bacon from breakfast, and fed it to the cheetah. The cheetah stopped growling. "Now I'm hungry!" Ed exclaimed.

After the final training test, George took the Eds back to the lodge. "You did pretty good on your final training. Tomorrow, I'm not bothering to watch over you for your next mission." George said. "Another mission?" Eddy complained. "Ah yes, this training ground is almost like what you kids call...EASY MODE." George stated. "Well, I'm out. I'm gonna take a break! Follow me, Ed!" Eddy complained. Ed laughed with odd joy. "You coming, sockhead?" Eddy taunted to Double D. "Actually, I'm going to talk about the wonders of sciences with the rangers!" Double D explained to Eddy. "Alright, you're making my head hurt!" Eddy yelled. Double D went to the porch by the savannah, and the Eds went to the air-conditioned living room.

Eddy and Ed were sitting on the couch. "I wonder how things are back at the cul-de-sac." Eddy told Ed. "Like chili and corn, Eddy!" Ed blurted back. "I bet it sucks." Eddy retorted. Eddy slipped into a daydream sequence, and this is what he imagined to be a cul-de-sac without Eds...

The neighborhood was bleak and colorless. The wind blew tumbleweeds across the streets. Rats crawled out of the sewers. Jimmy, Sarah, Nazz, Johnny, Rolf, Kevin and Plank were bowing down and grieving over a concrete statue of Eddy. "O, Eddy! So rich and cool? Where has he gone?" Jimmy cried. "I'm such a dork! Durrrrrrrrr!" Kevin grumbled. "If Eddy comes back, we should give him all our jawbreakers!" Sarah said. The kids began grieving again.

 **What ACTUALLY happened in the absence of Eds...**

The kids caught onto the fact that the Eds were missing. Sarah and Jimmy were talking to Kevin. "Have you seen Ed? He hasn't been home in days." Sarah told Kevin. "You know, I'm surprised I haven't been scammed by Eddy today. I think the dorks are working on some sort of huge scam. Just you wait." Kevin said, smugly. "Where are the Ed boys? Rolf is in need of help washing the pigs!" Rolf exclaimed. "It's a mystery, but we're safe from scams...for now..." Kevin sneered.

 **Meanwhile, in the nearby trailer park...**

The Kankers were very bored in their trailer, staring at posters of the Eds. "Marie, what do you wanna do today?" May asked. "I dunno, May." Marie replied. "Let's pay our boyfriends a visit!" Lee Kanker exclaimed. "Sounds good to me!" The other two exclaimed as they burst through the trailer door and started to track down the Eds.

 **M'kay. That wraps up what is traditionally "Beginner Mode" in the arcade game. Now it's onto the "Expert Mode." Stages. The Eds will face challenges and creatures in their next portion of adventure...**


	4. Embamba Plains

**Once again, the Eds are on the prowl in the African savannah. This time, they will be off on their own, cruising through the Embamba plains region. What will they find? Let's find out.**

The Eds got up on time, which was very odd, considering Ed and Eddy love sleeping in. They rushed to the fridge and ransacked it for food. This woke up Edward Arniele, who walked down to the kitchen. "Eds? On time? I don't believe it. Why are you up so early?" Mr. Arniele asked. "We can't wait to go to...wherever we're going!" Eddy exclaimed. "You'll be catching three species of animal in Embamba Plains today. You can roam around the area as you wish." Edward told them. Ed and Eddy ran down to the garage without showering or brushing their teeth, leaving the germaphobic Double D to be late. "Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!" Ed exclaimed. "Where is Sockhead? Why is he taking so long?" Eddy complained. Double D slowly walked into the garage. "He's moving too slow! Get him, blockhead!" Ed ordered. Ed chuckled, grabbed Double D, and threw him into the driver's seat. "Eddy, while I admire your newfound zoological interest, why are you so ecstatic to go on an adventure?" Double D asked as he started the Jeep and entered the location of Embamba Plains in the GPS. "I have the PERFECT idea for a scam!" Eddy exclaimed. "Of course." Double D groaned as the car drove off on its way.

Embamba Plains was a flat, wide open, grassy space with trees scattered around, and in one location, a village. Like the Base Camp, it was inhabited by zebras, gazelles, cheetahs, and hartebeests. However, they are far from the only species. Giraffes, wildebeest, oryxes and leopards are but a few of the many species to be caught. The Eds drove into the plains, and chased down a herd of zebras. Ed began twirling his rope. "Rope!" Ed exclaimed. Ed was about to cast his rope, when Eddy whacked his hand with a stick, causing him to miss. "Turn around, doofus!" Eddy yelled. Double D turned around. "We've already caught a zebra before." Ed snarled. Double D grabbed his binoculars to scan for something new, when he saw a herd of large white antelopes with black markings on their faces, and long, sharp, straight horns. Ed grabbed the binoculars out of Double D's hands. "Unicorns!" Ed exclaimed. "Actually, those are Arabian Oryxes. They're very rare!" Double D exclaimed, catching Eddy's attention. "Rare? Those antelopes would be great for our SCAM!" Eddy said as he rubbed his palms together. "Whatever you have in mind, I'm afraid to hear it!" Double D exclaimed. "Floor it, or I'll give you a wet willie that'll impale your brain!" Eddy ordered. In fear, Double D stepped on the gas, as Ed twirled his lasso and Eddy grabbed a net. Double D made a curve turn to the right, and ambushed an oryx from the front. The oryx was about to turn around, when Ed latched on with his lasso. "I got a unicorn, Eddy!" Ed blurted as Eddy tossed the net, catching the rare antelope. Ed and Eddy ran up to the netted oryx and started hooting and beating their chests. Ed made foghorn noises, and Double D facepalmed...

The Eds were on a leisurely drive across the plains, when they came across a small village. "Huts, Eddy!" Ed exclaimed. "I think we should drive up and learn about the cultures of the fine village people." Double D said. "The less time we waste, the better." Eddy said, snarkily. The village chief walked up to the Jeep and greeted them. "Hello." The chief said. "Salutations! I am Eddward, and these are my cohorts Ed and Eddy." Double D greeted the chief. "I am in great need of your help. A baboon has run off with my prized mask, and you must catch it to retrieve my legacy!" The chief pleaded. Ed had a look of shock and fear. "I know what this is! An NPC mission! AAAAAH!" Ed screamed. "We'd be glad to help y-" Double D said when Eddy grabbed him by the collar. "We are not helping him. Now let's get out of here!" Eddy yelled. Double D gave the chief a sorry look as he slowly drove off.

The Eds were driving and looking for another species of animal to catch, when they saw the Chief again. "I am in need of your help. A baboon has run off with my prized mask, and you must catch it to retrieve my legacy!" The chief repeated. "How did he get here so fast?" Double D asked in shock. Eddy took Double D's binoculars and scanned the area, when he saw what looked like a short-necked giraffe with zebra stripes on its rump. "What is that freak of nature?" Eddy asked Double D. "I dunno...OH MY WORD! Is that what I think it is?" Double D said in shock. "A sausage and cheese lasagna?" Ed asked. "It's an okapi, a very rare and endangered relative of the giraffe! The rangers would love for us to bring in one!" Double D exclaimed. "Rare means money! Let's go after it!" Eddy exclaimed. The Eds drove off at full speed, and chased down the Okapi, when out of nowhere, the Chief teleported in front of them, and stopped their car with ease. The okapi blew a raspberry and ran off into the woods. "What's the big deal, Skippy?" Eddy snarled. "I am in need of your help. A baboon has run off with my prized mask, and you must catch it to retrieve my legacy!" The chief repeated. "ALRIGHT!" Eddy yelled. "I guess a baboon would be a good addition to our collection." Eddy thought. The Eds drove off in search of a baboon.

The Eds were on their search, and there were no baboons in sight. However, there was a grazing herd of wildebeest nearby. "Y'know, the chief never told us to get his mask in a certain amount of time." Eddy said. "Just what are you insinuating?" Double D asked. "Let's catch one of those fancy cows!" Eddy exclaimed, pointing to the wildebeest. "Actually, wildebeest are antelopes, not cows." Double D corrected Eddy. "Just drive!" Eddy ordered. Ed twirled his lasso, and Double D drove towards the herd, when the antelopes got angry and began to charge the jeep! "Aaah!" Ed shouted. The wildebeest rammed into the car, knocking it around, and a wildebeest jumped over the Eds! "Run!" Ed shouted. "You mean drive." Double D replied. The Eds drove away, but a wildebeest with a chipped horn started chasing them away. Eventually, the wildebeest with the chipped horn got tired, and it stopped to rest. "Eat our dust, you lousy goats!" Eddy taunted, shaking his rump at the tired beast. "Look! A giraffe!" Ed exclaimed, pointing to the horizon. Double D equipped his binoculars and scanned the area, to see a lone giraffe. "Ed's right. I think this herd of wildebeest led us to this tall animal." Double D explained. "Forget the long talk, let's catch the dang thing!" Eddy ordered. The Eds loomed around the giraffe, so the animal's ears perked up. It began to gallop away. "Oh, we're not letting him get away!" Eddy yelled. "ED! Get ready and throw the rope!" Eddy ordered. Ed laughed and tossed the lasso onto the giraffe. This was by far the largest animal the Eds have tackled by far, so it started pulling the car with it, causing intense turns. Eddy tried tossing his net, but it missed every time. Ed climbed back into the trunk of the car to look for something to use. "Egads! That's very unsafe to do, Eddy!" Double D warned. "Who cares, as long as I have this thing caught." Eddy snarled as he grabbed a weird launcher out of the car's trunk. "What's that, Eddy? Is that a laser gun? PEW! PEW! PEW!" Ed shouted. "Shut up, Lumpy!" Eddy yelled. He loaded the launcher with the net, and fired it at the giraffe. It was an instant hit, stopping the giraffe in its tracks. "Two down, one to go!" Ed exclaimed.

The Eds were searching Embamba Plains for one last animal to catch, when they found something licking a termite mound. It was a baboon wearing a mask made of cow hide and ostrich feathers. "I think that's the baboon the Chief wanted!" Double D exclaimed. "Well then, let's go after it!" Eddy said. They chased the baboon and threw the lasso at it, but the baboon turned around, leaped on the Eds, tied them up with the lasso, and escaped! "Monkey! Why?" Ed cried. The Eds thrashed, trying to escape the lasso. The car was driving across the plains, when Double D spotted a red pickup truck. The truck tossed a lasso onto the car, and began pulling. "Who's pulling us?" Eddy snapped. The Eds were pulled up to the car, and the door opened. "It's the alien invaders from Planet Oogie!" Ed exclaimed. A v _ery_ ticked off Arniele walked over to the jeep. "Eds! About face!" Arniele barked. He cut the Eds loose. Double D stood up straight and saluted, Ed ran over and tripped, and Eddy didn't budge. "Double D. Average." Arniele noted. "Average? I'm the most mature of all the Eds!" Double D refuted. "That would be me." Arniele retorted. "Ed. You're a good man with the lasso, but dull. Keep sharp." Edward told Ed. "Warm!" Ed exclaimed. "EDDY!" Curator Arniele yelled. Eddy jumped in fear, and ran away into the African bush. George Wildman's jeep was barreling towards Eddy. Eddy screamed in shock, and George threw a lasso at him, catching him. The baboon that stole the chief's mask was in the jeep with George. George pulled over to the red truck with the olive baboon, and Eddy. "Careful out there. Leopards are out at this time." George instructed. "I caught that baboon you were after. I'll give it to you guys, for all you've been through." George told the Eds. "Good luck. Edward can get mighty angry sometimes." George warned as he drove off to the lodge.

Arniele was lecturing Eddy about how he was disappointed in him. "I have no problem with Edd or Ed. You, on the other hand, you act up. You aren't an ideal lad. You have no...integrity." Arniele stated. "Integrity? Lad? What year were you born, 1600?" Eddy remarked. "It seems you aren't able to handle a baboon on your own, as well." Arniele added. "It was just a baboon! We caught an oryx...and a giraffe!" Eddy stuttered. "Yes, but to fully gain your independence, you must do another special research test." Arniele replied. Eddy groaned as he limped back to Double D and Ed. They drove back to the lodge for dinner. It was baked beans and franks, sadly. You don't wanna know what happens when Ed eats baked beans and franks.

After dinner, Double D and Ed were ready for bed, when Eddy pulled Double D aside. "So, about that perfect scam I was talking about." Eddy hooked Double D. "I say we bring the animals we catch to the cul-de-sac and open up..Wild Ed's Cul-De-Sac Safari Park!" Eddy exclaimed. "Eddy! I can think of a million things wrong with that!" Double D exclaimed. "Put your sock in it! We'll be rich and famous!" Eddy exclaimed. "Nighty Night!" Ed shouted as he turned out the lights of the entire lodge.

 **So, the Eds first solo adventure in Africa was sort of a bust. However, to regain independence they must face a trial. I will give you a hint on what they will face. This animal is the second largest on land, yet critically endangered...**


	5. Rhino Rundown

**Eddy sure has been chewed out. Will he continue to boss his friends around, or will he change? As a side note, we'll see how things are going back at home. How will the kids cope when a Kanker invasion is ahead? Let's check in.**

"WAKE UP!" Double D yelled at Eddy. "You've slept in! Mr. Arniele will think less of you, and when he thinks less of you, he'll think less of me! I don't wanna be average!" Double D ranted. "Eddy remembered how harshly Edward Arniele chastised him in Embamba Plains the night before. "I don't need YOU interrupting my beauty rest." Eddy hissed. "Now get ready, our mission is going to star- WHERE'S ED!" Double D exclaimed. "Woaah!" Ed exclaimed as he fell out of the attic and onto the floor. "Ed, how did you get up there?" Double D asked. "The power of turkey!" Ed shouted. "I don't have time for this!" Double D groaned as he tried to drag Ed and Eddy down the stairs. He wheezed and gasped, giving up after pulling both Eds only a measly two inches.

After taking a dragging 10 minutes, Eddy finally got ready. The Eds went down to the garage without any food, causing Ed to be sad. "Oh, Double Dee! Why can we not eat?" Ed cried. "Only average people put food before work." Double D refuted. "What's gotten into sockhead?" Eddy asked Ed. "Maybe he needs to take a nap." Ed replied. "Mr. Arniele, the Eds are ready for duty!" Double D exclaimed. "You've skipped breakfast, by the looks of it. You'd probably want the energy to take on the strong animal you need to catch to re-earn my trust, Eddy." Arniele scowled at Eddy. "Look, whatever I did, I'm sorry, but why are you doing this?" Eddy asked. "Now take your positions, Eds. George Widman will join you in the back." Arniele ordered them as George stepped inside the Jeep. "Good morning, Eds!" George exclaimed, in a lighter tone than the cantankerous curator. Eddy was looking down at the floor in despair. "Chin up, kid! Edward can be very cranky when you get on his bad side, but he's not the worst person ever!" George told Eddy. "Yeah, yeah. Just what are we supposed to catch, anyways?" Eddy asked. "You just have to catch one of THOSE." George said. The Eds gasped when they saw their quarry.

In a muddy, watery area, a white rhinoceros, the second largest land animal, was wallowing in the mud to keep parasites off of her. "A RHINO? You want us to catch a RHINO?" Eddy yelled. "They're quite endangered, and are at risk of poaching." Double D told Eddy. "Say no more. This animal needs to be safe!" Eddy said, hiding his true intentions. "Rope!" Ed exclaimed as he hoisted up the lasso. Double D slowly approached the rhinoceros. "Why so slow?" Eddy asked. "The rhinoceros's hearing is very acute. We must be stealthy!" Double D told him. "Pick up the pace!" Eddy snapped. Ed stomped on the brake, and the rhino became aware of the Jeep's presence. The rhino began to charge at the jeep, which was headed for it quickly. The Eds screamed in fear, and Double D veered quickly to the right to avoid collision. After escaping the rhino's horns, the Eds took a breather.

"How are we going to tackle that behemoth?" Double D asked. "We throw a rope at it!" Ed exclaimed. "He's right, you know. That's all we do." Eddy told Double D. "There's more to animal catching than throwing the rope." George told the Eds. "Really?" Ed asked. "You have to think about how you should approach an animal, how it will react, how you can make the most effective capture." George went on. "We'll try the same way we always do. If it doesn't work, I'll listen to you." Eddy bartered. "Go ahead, but maybe doing the same thing for every animal is why you couldn't catch the baboon." George retorted. Eddy growled as he reached for a net he could use on large animals like giraffes and rhinos. Ed threw his rope at the rhino, and it latched on. The rhino started to run, so Double D put the Jeep in four wheel drive going backwards, as Ed pulled the rope towards him. "Pull!" Ed exclaimed. The rhinoceros channeled its power, and snapped the rope in half, sending the Eds speeding across the mud flats in reverse. "Aaaah!" The Eds cried as they were whisked away from their quarry.

"Okay, I know I screwed up. What's your plan?" Eddy asked. "My plan? You and your friends are the ones who must come up with the plan, using teamwork." George told him. "That sounds like a swell idea!" Double D exclaimed. The three Eds huddled up and exchanged ideas. Even a few of Ed's ideas made it into their plan. The Eds broke out of their huddle and began stretching to prepare to wrangle the rhinoceros. Double D drove the Jeep until it faced straight at the rhinoceros from 50 feet away. The rhino pawed the ground, and began charging. Double D slowly backed away, and the rhino was gaining on the jeep. "Sockhead, what are you doing?" Eddy mumbled. "Now!" Double D hooted as he made a sharp turn and drifted, like a matador dodging a bull. The rhino kept going, and it took a while for the one and a half-ton animal to stop. "I see where this is going!" George exclaimed. The rhinoceros was panting, for it was tired out from the failed charge. Double D zoomed around it, drifting in a circle as Ed tossed the lasso on it. "Now, Eddy!" Double D exclaimed. Eddy grabbed a net launcher and blasted it onto the rhino, sealing the deal. "I- I mean We did it!" Eddy exclaimed. "We are the Eds!" Ed barked as the Eds and Wildman walked over to the enormous animal.

"Now all we need to do is tag it with a tracking device, to aid us if it is caught by poachers." Widman said as he was about to clip a yellow tag to the animal's ear, when a mysterious gray quad bike with a rider in green started barreling down the mud flats. "By Roosevelt's Glasses, it's a poacher!" George exclaimed. The Eds huddled again and came up with a plan. They ran to the net, and lifted it off of the rhino. The three Eds jumped on the pachyderm's back, and Ed grabbed the lasso to steer it. "Giddy up, fatty unicorn!" Ed exclaimed as the rhino charged at the poacher's quad. "EEEEEE!" The poacher screamed as he leaped off of his quad and fell in the mud. The rhinoceros stomped the quad into a flat piece of metal, and the Eds tied the poacher up in the lasso. George Wildman drove the jeep over to the rhino's location. "Well done!" George exclaimed as he slowly clapped his hands. "You caught not only a strong White Rhinoceros, but a poacher as well!" George exclaimed. "I tell you what, Curator Arniele will be very proud of you! Your teamwork is impeccable!" George said, praising the Eds. Double D and Eddy walked into the Jeep and drove away, with the poacher dragging on the ground behind them, tied up in the lasso. "Whee!" Ed exclaimed as he rode alongside the jeep on the rhino, out of the mudflats.

The Eds walked into the lodge with their heads up proud, as they approached Arniele, who was conversing with fellow staff members Ngugi and Söderström. "Hey crusty!" Eddy exclaimed. "So, how did you fare against the rhino?" Edward asked. "We caught it through teamwork, and we even brought down one of those poachers you hate so much!" Eddy boasted. "It's true!" Double D added. "Eds? Teamwork? Poachers? I don't believe it." Arniele said, starkly. "You can take my word for it, Arniele!" George Wildman spoke as he brought in the poacher the Eds caught. "I know that poacher! He's one of Hans Corrazara's men!" Marit Söderström exclaimed. "Good grief, this must be embarrassing for you. Caught by three children?" Arniele taunted the poacher. "I see you really did complete the challenge. The rest of the day is yours, Eds. Tomorrow you regain your independence, as you will be sent to Shetani Riverside for your next mission." Arniele told the Eds. "Will there be turkey?" Ed asked. The four adults shook their heads to say no.

After spending the rest of the day for their pleasure, the Eds were ready to sleep. "Goodnight, Double D! Goodnight, Lumpy!" Eddy told his friends as he drifted off into a dream...

 **In Eddy's Dream...**

Rolf, Nazz, Sarah, Kevin, Johnny, and Jimmy were mourning at the graves of the Eds. One grave was four feet tall and made of solid gold, marked "Here lies Eddy, wonderful master of scams and money." Two sticks marked "D" and "DD" were the empty graves of the other Eds. "Oh Eddy, how we miss you!" Nazz exclaimed. "I am as stupid as you are rich!" Kevin exclaimed. "If Eddy was alive, I would give him all of my jawbreakers!" Jimmy cried. Suddenly, the kids heard the blare of a thousand trumpets. "What is that heavenly noise?" Sarah asked. "Here at Peach Creek! Wild Ed's Cul-De-Sac Safari Park!" The voice of Dream Eddy boomed. "Can it be?" Kevin asked. "It is too good to be true!" Rolf exclaimed. Eddy came riding in on the white rhinoceros, with Ed riding a giraffe, and Double D riding a hartebeest. "I, Eddy, am back from the plains of Darkest Africa!" Eddy yelled. "What are those mysterious animals the Ed boys are riding on?" Rolf questioned. "For a measly FIVE DOLLARS, you can see the beasts from the plains in your own backyard!" Eddy shouted as the cheetah, gazelle, zebra, oryx and baboon followed the Eds. All six kids and even Plank gave Eddy tons of money, that turned into jawbreakers that flew into his mouth. "I AM UNSTOPPABLE!" Eddy exclaimed.

 **In Reality:**

It had been five days since the Eds were last seen. The six kids and Plank were seated at a table in the middle of the Cul-De-Sac. "It's not funny anymore. Wherever the Eds are hiding, they better come out, because Mom and Dad just contacted the police." Sarah spoke. "This isn't some game of hide-and-go-seek, Sarah. Those dorks are planning the BIGGEST scam in the history of Peach Creek. Hold onto your money and jawbreakers, because whatever they're doing, it's going to lure in the weak." Kevin lectured Sarah. "I wonder if it's a puppy farm, or a huge pizza party just for us, Sarah!" Jimmy exclaimed. "Like I said, luring in the weak." Kevin added. "I'm sure the Eds are out camping, right, Plank?" Johnny asked the piece of wood. "Don't get me wrong, I like a world without dorky scams, but we're overlooking the biggest problem with the Eds being gone." Kevin asked. "And what is the biggest problem?" Nazz asked. "Who would be the angriest if the Eds were missing?" Kevin asked. "Their parents?" Jimmy replied. "No, it's the- WE'RE TOO LATE!" Kevin cried. On the hill, covered in shadow were three familiar figures. "KANKERS!" The six cried in unison. "Where are our dreamy boyfriends?" Lee Kanker hissed. "We don't know! They've been gone for five days!" Sarah exclaimed. "I bet you did something to poor Ed!" May Kanker yelled as she tackled Sarah. "Look, wherever they are, they're probably coming back, so just don't bother us until they do." Kevin tried to reason with the three. "I bet you kidnapped our Eds!" Marie blamed Kevin as she grabbed him by the throat and lifted him up. "Let's get out of here, Plank!" Johnny said as he tried to flee the Kankers. However, Lee caught up to him and grabbed plank out of his hands. "You want this stupid board? You and all your friends are going to look for the Eds for us!" Lee ordered. "For now on, until the Eds are found, this Cul-De-Sac is ours!" The Kankers announced. "Wherever those dorks are, they better come out." Kevin mumbled. And as such, the Cul-De-Sac is now a desolate and bleak land, ruled by the Kankers.

 **And that wraps up chapter 5. The Cul-De-Sac is now a dumpster fire, with the Kankers taking the reins to look for the Eds, who are thousands of miles away, on the African continent. As for tommorow, The Eds will work in Shetani Riverside, full of new animals to find and catch, including the king of the jungle...**


End file.
